Copyright ? 2011 National Public Radio?. For personal, noncommercial use only. See Terms of Use. For other uses, prior permission required.
PETER SAGAL, host:
And now, the game where we invite interesting people on to discuss things they're just not interested in. You know how a lot of aspiring comedians quit the business and just go to law school? Demetri Martin quit law school, right before he graduated, to become a comedian. It turned out to be a good idea. He got his own series on Comedy Central and he has now written his first book. Demetri Martin, welcome to WAIT WAIT...DON'T TELL ME!
(Soundbite of applause)
Mr. DEMETRI MARTIN (Comedian): Thank you. Thanks everybody. Thanks for having me.
SAGAL: Your material, it's kind of hard to describe, but it's kind of like the musings of an obsessive mind.
Mr. MARTIN: Thanks.
(Soundbite of laughter)
SAGAL: Yeah, you think about things rather deeply and oddly, which is kind of what's so great.
Mr. MARTIN: Yeah, I think I spend a lot of time on planes and in cars and just places waiting, alone, to get to the next place. So I usually just take out a pen and draw things over and over again or make lists, you know, things like that. Nothing crazy, not like lists of killing people or anything. Just more like...
(Soundbite of laughter)
SAGAL: Yeah. That's not the sort of thing you do. Could you describe your comedy for someone who hasn't been fortunate enough to see it yet?
Mr. MARTIN: Yeah. It's just made up of little ideas, and then I put them together in different ways. So each little idea is like a little brick and then I just build them up into different shapes and those are like the bits.
SAGAL: Right.
Mr. MARTIN: And then the silence that you hear, that's usually what happens.
SAGAL: Yeah.
(Soundbite of laughter)
SAGAL: I mean, when you hear about somebody who was in law school and then quit to be a comic, we imagine that you were a total cutup in class and everybody was saying to you, "hey, you should go be a professional comedian." Is that what happened?
Mr. MARTIN: Yes and no. I think it was pretty normal all the way up, and then by the time I got to law school, I had made a mistake. Then I became the funny guy at law school, which was really the annoying guy. Actually, not the annoying guy, one of the annoying people at law school.
(Soundbite of laughter)
SAGAL: Yeah.
Mr. MARTIN: There's a lot of them. And then eventually I realized I'm wasting time and money here. I should drop out and go try to find a stage somewhere.
SAGAL: And what was the moment? You were actually like through two years of law school where you were like, I don't want to do this. Was there a particular moment?
Mr. MARTIN: Yes, I went for the first year and it was just a couple of months in that I realized, "oh no, is this it? This is what this is? No." But I didn't know what - you know, I really didn't have any other plans or anything. So I stuck around. And I was a White House intern after the first year, that summer.
SAGAL: Wait a minute; you were a White House intern? Which White House?
Mr. MARTIN: In the Clinton White House.
SAGAL: You were an intern at the Clinton White House?
(Soundbite of laughter)
Mr. MO ROCCA (Correspondent, CBS Sunday Morning): Oh my goodness.
Mr. MARTIN: Yes.
Mr. BRIAN BABYLON (Comedian/Host, Vocolo.org): Are you okay?
SAGAL: How was that experience?
Mr. MARTIN: I missed a lot of the action. I wasn't there...
(Soundbite of laughter)
SAGAL: Really? Did you meet the president?
Mr. MARTIN: I met the president, yes.
SAGAL: Did you tell him a joke?
Mr. MARTIN: You know what happened was we took a big photo with the president behind the White House.
SAGAL: Yeah.
Mr. MARTIN: And at the end of the photo, somebody made an announcement, "hey, the president is going to be kind enough to stick around. So as you leave, you can all shake his hand."
SAGAL: Yeah.
Mr. MARTIN: So great, so I'm waiting in line with the other interns. I had, like, my short sleeved shirt and a tie. And I heard people ahead of me saying things like, Mr. President, you know my father from so and so. My dad is whatever. My mom - you know, people, when they narrow it down to a very short interaction, I think all the BS is kind of stripped away and it's just like, hey, here's my connection to you.
SAGAL: Yeah.
Mr. MARTIN: But I didn't have one of those. So, I'm thinking, what am I going to say to this guy? So I'm not proud of this, but what I said was, what's up, Mr. President?
(Soundbite of laughter)
Mr. MARTIN: That's what I had.
SAGAL: That's what you had.
Mr. MARTIN: That's what I had to say to President Clinton.
SAGAL: So you have this distinct style. I mean, most comics are telling jokes about current events or politics or like plane travel. And you get up and, like, start drawing Venn diagrams on stage. Do people respond to that?
Mr. MARTIN: No, definitely not.
SAGAL: No.
(Soundbite of laughter)
Mr. MARTIN: For a while still, I mean I think I have a specific audience that I find in different pockets of the country. And, you know, I mix it up. I do some of the drawings. And mostly what I do is I just tell jokes about simple things like dogs and chairs, you know, and things like that.
SAGAL: Can you tell us a chair joke?
Mr. MARTIN: Let me think. Yes, this is a chair joke I remember. A beanbag chair is very helpful because it tells you things. Like if you're over forty and sitting in one, then you failed.
(Soundbite of laughter)
(Soundbite of applause)
Mr. MARTIN: That's both a chair joke and a beanbag joke.
SAGAL: That's true. I want to ask you about palindromes. One in the cool things in the book is a short chapter of palindromes.
Mr. MARTIN: Yeah.
SAGAL: Nobody makes up palindromes. You do. In fact, you make up what must be the longest palindrome I've ever seen. It goes on for three pages.
Ms. AMY DICKINSON (Columnist, Ask Amy): Wow.
Mr. MARTIN: 500 words.
Ms. DICKINSON: Oh wow.
SAGAL: How in the world do you do that?
Mr. MARTIN: I don't know. For me, when I was in high school, I used to work at my parent's diner. I'm Greek, so my family has to have a diner.
SAGAL: Yes.
(Soundbite of laughter)
Mr. MARTIN: If you're Greek in New Jersey, you either have a diner or you're related to somebody who has one. So that's a true stereotype. And sometimes I'd be sitting there and I'd have to be the host, where people come in and you say hi, how many? Two, okay, and then you seat them and then you go back and sit by the counter.
So I'd bring little puzzle books and things like that to entertain myself. And I discovered a palindromic poem once in a puzzle book. They said, hey, this is one of the longest in the English and I counted, it was 58 words. And I thought, like anybody would, oh man, I got to do that.
(Soundbite of laughter)
SAGAL: Even to an NPR crowd, I think, not anybody would do that. But go on.
Mr. MARTIN: I can tell you that in my experience, palindromes are the number one, like, conversation stopper, like party killer, I think I've ever seen.
(Soundbite of laughter)
SAGAL: Really? So like you're talking to some woman at a party and go hey, I'm going to say a sentence that reads the same if you read it backwards.
Ms. DICKINSON: Do you say...
Mr. MARTIN: Yeah, or if somebody says something and then I take their name and add a couple of letters to it. I'm like, I'll say it and then I'll say, by the way, that's a palindrome. Then it's just blank stares.
(Soundbite of laughter)
Ms. DICKINSON: But you know what, the thing about your palindromes really make me want to hear more chair jokes.
(Soundbite of laughter)
SAGAL: No, listen. I want to stand up for this man's palindromes, because he has a bunch of palindromes that you've never heard before. And then he has a 500-word palindrome. And you're like, come on, this is not a palindrome. And you sit there and you start reading it backwards, and it's a palindrome.
Ms. DICKINSON: Wow.
SAGAL: Like, it's crazy.
Mr. MARTIN: Peter, thank you. Thank you.
SAGAL: You're welcome.
Ms. DICKINSON: I'm sorry.
SAGAL: Well, Demetri Martin, we are delighted to have you with us. We've asked you here to play a game we're calling?
CARL KASELL, host:
Take my wife. Please.
(Soundbite of laughter)
SAGAL: That was the signature of comedian Henny Youngman. Since you're something of a nontraditional comedian, we thought we'd ask you about the most famous straight-ahead jokester of all time. Answer two questions correctly, you'll win our prize for one of our listeners, Carl's voice on their home answering machine. Carl, who is Demetri playing for?
KASELL: Demetri is playing for Justin Mabardi of New York City.
SAGAL: All right, here is your first question. Youngman was famous for a number of qualities, among them, which of these? A: he had the worst breath of any major comic. Fans knew never to sit in the front rows. B: he was the fastest working comic of his time. He delivered fifty or more jokes in an eight-minute set. Or C: he never ever was seen to laugh ever at anything.
Mr. MARTIN: Okay, I like all those options. I think the first one would be the meanest and most interesting historical legacy for a comic to leave. But I think it's going to be the second one, B, that he was the fastest.
SAGAL: He was. He was an extremely fast comic.
(Soundbite of bell)
SAGAL: He'd get in, tell an awful lot of jokes, and get off.
(Soundbite of applause)
SAGAL: That's good.
Mr. MARTIN: All right.
SAGAL: So he was tireless in looking for paying work. He was rather famous for that. He was always, always out there looking to make a buck. As he proved it once when he did what? A: he spent the house between his two shows at Carnegie Hall telling jokes on the street with a hat in front of him. B: he got off on the wrong floor of a hotel on the way to a gig. He found a Bar Mitzvah going on and booked a quick extra gig for $150 at the Bar Mitzvah. Or C: he would tell a joke in an elevator and if he got a laugh, he'd ask everybody on board for two bucks.
Mr. MARTIN: You know, B sounds like those would be terrible parents if they didn't have entertainment for the Bar Mitzvah.
Mr. ROCCA: Right.
SAGAL: Right.
Mr. MARTIN: So I'm not going to do that one. It could be right, but I'm not going to do that one. Then A, that's pretty appealing; a nice New York story. But I think I'm going to go with C, because I can see that being kind of coercive in a very interesting way.
SAGAL: He'd lean on the door close button and say okay, you've had a laugh, now pay up. That's your choice?
Mr. MARTIN: Yeah.
SAGAL: No, it was actually the Bar Mitzvah.
Mr. MARTIN: No.
SAGAL: It was a famous story he bragged about. He was on his way to the ballroom at the Waldorf Astoria, thousands of people waiting for him. Got off on the wrong floor, there's a Bar Mitzvah. He arranged a second gig. He came down and did it later, and made an extra 150 bucks. He was very proud.
(Soundbite of laughter)
Mr. MARTIN: Wow. So maybe they already had entertainment, so it was like a bonus.
SAGAL: Exactly, a little extra thing.
Mr. MARTIN: Okay.
SAGAL: All right. Now this is your last question. If you get this right, you win it all.
Mr. MARTIN: So if I get this right, Justin gets the prize.
SAGAL: Exactly right, so the pressure's on. His most famous trademark joke was, of course, take my wife. Please.
(Soundbite of laughter)
SAGAL: But there's something surprising...
Ms. DICKINSON: That's so funny.
SAGAL: I know. There's something surprising about that joke. What was it? A: despite that joke, and many others like it, he was never married. B: the first time he told it, it wasn't a joke. He really wanted someone to take his wife.
(Soundbite of laughter)
SAGAL: Or C: he tried it out first as "please, take my wife," before realizing that reversing it would get the laugh.
Mr. MARTIN: I'm going to go with A, he was never married.
SAGAL: You're going to go with A, he was never married. So you're saying he spent a lifetime telling jokes about his wife.
Mr. MARTIN: Maybe.
SAGAL: But he was never married.
(Soundbite of laughter)
Ms. DICKINSON: Oh.
Mr. MARTIN: I'm not sure yet, I'm not finished.
SAGAL: All right.
(Soundbite of laughter)
(Soundbite of applause)
Ms. DICKINSON: Just...
Mr. MARTIN: I thought you said he was never harried, like he was never bothered.
SAGAL: Yeah, never bothered.
(Soundbite of laughter)
Mr. MARTIN: The phone connection is weird. Married you're telling me, okay.
SAGAL: Never married, yes. Now that you know that you're going to reconsider, all right.
Mr. MARTIN: Okay.
SAGAL: So the other two choices were the first time he said it, it wasn't a joke, he really wanted someone to take his wife.
Mr. MARTIN: Okay, I'm going to say B. I'm going to pick B.
SAGAL: You're going to say B.
Mr. MARTIN: Yeah.
SAGAL: That he really meant it seriously. You're right.
(Soundbite of bell)
(Soundbite of applause)
SAGAL: It's a true story. The way he told the story was...
Mr. MARTIN: Thank you.
SAGAL: He was backstage and getting ready for a show. And he wanted an usher to take his wife to her seat out in the audience. And he said take my wife, please and got a laugh. And was like, wait a minute, and thus a trademark was born.
KASELL: Carl, how did Demetri Martin do on our quiz?
KASELL: Demetri had two correct answers, Peter, and that's enough to win for Justin Mabardi.
SAGAL: Well done, congratulations.
(Soundbite of applause)
Mr. MARTIN: All right.
SAGAL: Demetri Martin, thank you so much. His new book is called, "This is a Book," by Demetri Martin.
Mr. MARTIN: Thank you.
SAGAL: Demetri, thank you so much for being with us.
Mr. MARTIN: Thank you.
SAGAL: Bye-bye.
Mr. MARTIN: See you guys.
SAGAL: Take care.
Mr. MARTIN: Bye.
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Source: http://www.npr.org/2011/05/07/136038692/comedian-demetri-martin-plays-not-my-job?ft=1&f=1008
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